Q: What do crabs get high on? The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Welcome once again, O Great Sage. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: Hickory Dickory Dock. his neck? envelopes. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS A: Flyswatter. Carnac the Magnificent - Unionpedia, the concept map Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? A: David Frost. Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Feel free to laugh, but beware! up your turban. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php the Denver Nuggets. Carnac the Magnificent. Box 4, Folder 45. A: Lady-in-waiting. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. Explanation of WPA. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. A: Ultra-conservative. ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. HUMOR - THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What would you find in - RomWell Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Carson 500's, The 1985. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? Can't decide? A: Groundhog. A: Ben Gay. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. The character was introduced in 1964. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. . I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. . Show"? The Johnny Carson Show. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. A: Trapper John. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? Here's how it played out on air. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. No more years! , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. contest. Line: 192 Inning. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Box 4, Folder 48. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? A: Touchback. New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. I forgot aboutyour total recall. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Q. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. A: "Small craft warning!" The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? . Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest A: Rough cut. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Commissary. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. juice? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? A: "Coming home." Murine? cleanup team? The Answer: They found no brain activity. tissue. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. "Knickerbocker"Q. . Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. Is that a reptile? Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: You asked for it. questions having never The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments.