recently 6 months ago he started new job an old co-worker we both worked for got him job. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. He may sincerely believe that he would never cheat. I think there must be something more going on, than just your husband having a nightmare. Hes sorry he lied. Hi Kim, I recently had a very similar experience with my long term boyfriend (13 years). Im constantly being harrassed when I do go out. I contacted her and her husband exposing every detail, email, pictures and texts. No doubt this incident will be added on there, lol. We didnt have much of an emotional connection, I just chalked it up to the fact that is didnt talk much to many people anyway. I gave my husband sex for a while because I wanted to feel that I could satisfy him like the 20 year old lap dancers. I have only stayed because she was GONE the minute I found out. If you thinkyour husband is cheating on you, you may be picking up on subconscious clues that he is having an affair. Be very observant .he will bust himself out eventually. It is possible to recover from an affair, but it takes time and frankly, a professional to help. Have you talked to a counselor? The risk is huge for a married couple not only emotionally and mentally but financially. There could be others as well. So here is my story. I will stop for now. She said she wouldnt just because she wasnt looking for that, she wanted a relationship and she didnt want one with him because she didnt want to go down that road again. 7 Reasons for Relationship Failure, He Cheated on You, But You Cant Stop Loving Him, 8 Ways to Rebuild Trust in Your Husband After Infidelity, Can You Live With a Husband You Dont Trust? I might fail everyone of your tests and I have never cheated. I think, quite possibly just friends. He had moved out at one point for a long time staying with Friends. He also admitted that he had been regularly deleting his FB history but that he was careless this one time and forgot to do it. Talks rude disrespectful and down grade. I will say a prayer for all of you.please get away from the ones you are with who are cheating on their spouses I PROMISE you there is someone out there for you who will treat you perfect! He claims nothing is going on but i am worried something is going on. Too much at stake. I am sure because his patience is now wearing thin from all my accusations and worries. He takes care of her by paying her rent and etc. If your spouse is clever . I meet my husband at age 15 our sex life was great, then I became pregnant at age 18 I gained 45 pounds . I confronted her and him with the email and they claimed it was a big joke. I restrained myself and did not do it. Then I went to his office and conveniently his American Express bills were not in the files. Only 8% of men cheat because they want more physical intimacy. All of the 5 signs you list, he expressed to the tee we fight about it endlessly, and he refuses to understand how his actions have created in me such insecurity his aggression towards me when i questioned him, his secrecy, his talking to her on the phone while in bed with me, his running from family time to be with her, his constant need to jump to her every tune, his need to pander to her, the way in which he became her pet dog, running around doing menial jobs for her, when in a senior position. Trust me, you are capable of more than youll ever know. I havebeen married for 16 years and been with my husband total 19 years.I have caught him about 6 times he has freinds that are females. To all you loyal wives out there, if you have any suspicion, follow your instinct. Were 3 years after the big reveal, on my birthday, as my husband was reading to the boys upstairs. So he wakes up and I told him she called me and he denies being good friends and that he doesnt know her like that, he also denies meeting up at the parking lot, he says he would only go to get gas and cig and leave, that was a lie bc that particular place isnt open at 2am. It was a total shock . Hey anonymous, I have an advice question for you. Thank you in advance for any advice you can give. That is the only way to find a solution. i dont know how to handle this anymore im broken. I just need to know 100% the truth before I walk away i need clousure. 12 hiurs later I found an unfiltered message on Facebook from his mistress. Im sure it 20 years old you are still attractive and can easily and will easily find somebody who is better. can anyone tell me whats the meaning of all these? Not sure about his reply but other than their sickening vacation he was home every night, every weekend. I have never cheated and my husband swears he hasnt either. Thanks so much for this advice and for responding to all these comments! So if your husband still works with the woman he had an affair with, know that the guy now needs to think about your feelings more than his. I still dont know if Im getting the whole truth. Whats your thoughts? I believe the answer is no, because you said you cant tell him youre thinking of counseling. Please help. I had never met a man like him before and over a two year period we ended up falling madly in love with each other. If youre confused about whether your husband is lying about cheating, then you need to believe his ACTIONS over his words. Maybe, theyre just friends. I know I should trust my instincts but after 20 yrs? Move on and leave him behind. There was a time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them. All of this happened 2 years ago after we had our baby. Monogamy not part of a mans nature. "She lost her mind and left me with three small children and took them with her to Larissa and won't let me see my children," he said. Which makes you question the way you look and dress, and could even make you wonder about your personality. He is emotionally detached from me. I trusted him with my every being. He gets angry, swears its a lie, and doesnt want to discuss it anymore. We become somewhat cynical and lose the ability to completely trust always thinking in the back of our mind, their unfaithfulness could happen again. It not just the direct lies its the stories and the elaborate effort he makes to hide his lies. You two should marry quickly after you both pray for forgiveness! None of those are an accuse, but a small chance that a therapist could help. Hes done it before to make me hurt. Hes been clean about 3 months. He makes up stories, I already know he is lying but he continues doing it thinking I wont find out. Everything listed about if a man is a cheater is true about my husband. He swears im the only woman he loves and wants. I need to tell you something honey that is of utmost importance. You say youll be OK and I believe youll be better than OK. You have connected with yourself, you are getting stronger and healthier every day. We were 44 at the time. Few studies on infidelity have gone beyond exploring demographics, said Robin Milhausen, a professor and sexuality researcher in Guelphs Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition who conducted the study with Kristen Mark and Erick Janssen of Indiana University. I dont have any answers for you. If your wife is suspicious of you, its because you are behaving suspiciously. I love him so much and I dont want to leave him but no matter what I say he wont stop talking to women on craigslist. A week ago he left a 2 min voicemail on my phone with him and a girl having a conversation. Its a 5 minute walk from the house and its been nearly 3 hours. You cant help your husband get over his sexual addiction. RECENTLY, A EMPLOYEE WITH TCS IN RALEIGH N.C. If you know you tend to be aggressive while arguing there is a big chance to lose your control after getting to know that your significant other is not an angel (but a human with their weaknesses). This is all too familiar. Warm wishes to you as you recover from the loss of trust that you once had. Hes not very affectionate and he can go months without having sex with me. I feel like our stories have so many similarities. I was shocked at the pictures shown and the women on the other end of the camera so i quickly closed it. Do I confront him about the reactivation? From that day i told him please stay away from me. We have only been married seven months. I thought it strange because I didnt know he knew her that well.She works at the hospital where he works as a cashier in the cafeteria. Thank you all for your knowledge it is the clearity that I need. I even started up smoking. No dinner Nothing. So I have nobody except him. Check his phone, here you can look for text messages to other women, secret social accounts and whether or not hes been making a lot of calls. Life goes on. If course, she wouldnt . Meanwhile, I just had a baby. What should I do? What ever he liked that whore. She told me that they had met in a club and that he had said he was single with no commitments. Thank You. He should have been smart and logged off right away realizing that he could have ruined us (Im just now thinking of this, and to me, he chose to sit on the computer- even though I hid my reaction). !I Have been married for 11 yearsI suspect that my husband is cheating on myfor all 11 years.Im 28 and he is 33..He is always out with his friends i meen always FROM DAY ONE THAT WE GOT MARIED,He never likes to take me out,he goes to the gym every day,we have sex 2 time in 6 monthsSometimes once in yearWe have two kidsI .I really love my husband ,I DONT KNOW ANY MORE,,,I FEEL SOMETHING IS GOING ONI fund condom in his working truck ,but we never use condom for us..Im very madHe denies everything.What to do???:(. That it must of been attached to a junk email he got. I pray for you both as parents to your son, for unity and healing and connection. I decided to do my own thing as far as dating. Because if he can lie to a woman with whom he has taken a vow, whats he going to do to a person with whom he has never taken a vow and to whom he has absolutely no commitment? Idk. If he had nothing to hide, why become defensive, and protective, and secretive? Its them that has to do the work to earn back trust, its us that has to do the work to help them to do that if we choose to stay with said partner. I feel as if every day hes lying to me nowim so paranoid, but i dont show him that. I dont know what to do and its driving me insane to always be wondering whats going on. I confronted him and he said he just talks to her when hes bored and shes funny which made my heart drop. I feel like if u separate temporarily you guys may rediscover why you fell in love and get back to a healthy, loving, trusting, and respectful relationship. I trust him. When hes with me, hes distant. Do your trust your husband? I completely snapped. ! Should I be suspicious that he is chatting with someone else and doesnt want it showing up on our bill? I have known my husband for 6 years and will be married for 2 on new years day. Use the emotional judo of knowing that most affairs burn out and decide for yourself how long you will . I have a boyfriend who i love dearly. Should I comfront him about it or should I dismised as a guy thing? He made an ass of himself. You seem like a kind trusting person. So the issue of cheating, has nothing to do with sex, so if you want your man to be honest with you, you first need to be honest with your self. he just does according to him. Will Your Marriage Succeed? I had pulled up mid-way between both of their vehicles and sat and waited maybe 5 minutes, before getting out and going into the store. He seemed really nervous about it. He swears he didnt sleep with this woman (a co-worker) and I 99.9% believe him. He flat out tries to lie and deny but I know better. 3) About two months ago, in addition to him withdrawing affectionately from me, he started telling me frequently (when I asked for a hug) that I needed to say please if I wanted or needed a hug. Do a mans friends have anything to do with his willingness to cheat? What should I do? What does your gut tell you about your boyfriend? They say it is simply over the kids, but I feel there is something more going on. I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). Does he allow you to look at his texts or does he whisper when he is in the phone sometimes? My children had such an unpredictable childhood and the guilt and shame I feel now only adds to the pain this man has caused me. I told her that I wondered about how she carried herself, since she was being referred to as my husband P*$$& that she must be very inappropriate for that to be said about her. He has every single sign of an affair. And i really cant get much lower. 10. When I was 6 months pregnant he mentioned he was unhappy in our relationship. We ended up meeting a month or so later and just sat in my car at this faraway park, talking for hours and hours. Since I dont know you, your partner, or your relationship, I cant give advice on if your husband is lying about cheating. I believed and trusted him. The other night my husband and I were leaving a party,he of coarse had too much too drink and I dont drink at all.He instantly started calling me names,telling me how fun Im not and how he cant stand me.I didnt say anything thinking he would settle down.But seems that made him more angry.Then he blurted out that he cheats on me all the time and stuck his fist through the window.Well then he tried to take the comment back by saying nobody would want him.I would not find it hard to believe if he were haveing a fling or some one nighters as I would think.He goes to the bar alot with his buddies and sometimes I dont see him until morning.I just need to know if he is and figure out how to catch him in the actI have checked his phone and cant find a thing.I am stummped on this one.But I also have been emotionally abused by him for the past 18 years it may be time for me to just give up. We have kissed occassionally). Just please help me and honestly I thought about not calling him anymore I used to call him in the morning and he would stay on the phone until my son got on the school bus but now he doesnt do it anymore sometimes I literally have to keep calling him just so he can answer doesnt work for me now would it be best if I didnt call him at all or just continue to do what I have been doing everyday. here it goes my husband of 15yrs. And he grinned and said she had knee surgery and he had called to see how she was doing. Hope each and every one of you with a cheater can cut him loose and find some happiness. Im just disappointed that you even entertained the idea of an affair and felt compelled to ask the question to women who have risked and lost so very much. Question is I never ever receive any emoji sign from my husband , how can those love emoji are showing on his phone frequently used?? He makes me feel unappreciated disrespected and worth nothing to him. Help. He did all the bull.. your crazy that woman is a whore. I was telling him something is going on and even though I dont kknow what it is, I dont like the feeling I get. Give a counselor a call you may need only an hour to talk things through and get some clarity. And I can't handle it. He hasnt stopped going on craigslist even knowing about the STD and everytime I bring it up he just laughs at me and blows me off. They left together and I am certain they met up at times while I was stuck at work. Draw on the resources you have, and dont let your husband steal away your spark. Of course it is possible that he is but his behavior also may just be him pulling away. i dont even know how he satified all us. A lot of science goes into the nature of how we think as a gender but its not that complicated. You can recover honey. You do need some help!! Our sex life change completly we get intimate if Im lucky only once a month , and when it happends hes done in about 30 seconds. I was devastated from losing my whole family! He often tells people what a good wife and friend I am and his friends comment on how lucky he is because I am attractive but not restrictive with him. What does that tell you? He wont admit hes cheatingso will you trust your gut, or his words? I was reading these articles and I ran into your comment. and their father dont want to change.. please help. As he walks away he tells me to think about it. Not even two months after we were married i found out he was cheating with me with a girl he previously was with but she had an open marriage. long story. When I confronted him about that he laughed saying I was over-reacting. So him and this guy was curious I guess. Luckily the woman didnt respond to my husbands messages. Successful marriages without cheating have been found to be between two people who take their vows seriously, the same way they live according to their values. I dont know the answer to that.I suppose thats a matter of personal opinion. He mentioned to them that he was leaving me. Yes, it will be hard to leave. Look it up and I bet you will be shocked at what you will read! But the more I hold it in the more it would make me loose my mind. Then, after all these years of emotional and verbal abuse, I finally realized there was a name for someone like him. I think about him a lot, more than I should. But, there is good news! Find out about our Free Virtual Training Search Login. I do not think I will ever be But life goes on and Im curious to see how this turns out, Keep you head up. It was all so awkard and odd. Our intimacy has came to a hault, we went from numberous times per day to maybe 1-3 times per month since March. If I could help you, what would you like me to do? With the company he works with he has to have a partner and it is a female so he is spending most of his time with her. Then my husband asks her to send him a photo of her. When i confronted him about it he got so angry. We talked about it and it was made clear that it was due to other factors of the current living situation that had nothing to do with each other. She texts me a lot but not as much as she does him. Its always going to be YOUR FAULT!!! He used to come home between 3:00-3:30 pm always except for when there were leaks of gas, then occasionally, hell call hell be late. I did not see any photos. Other than to say this: if youre unhappy in your marriage and your husband wont do anything to help improve the relationship, then you need to leave him. You are going to keep feeling destroyed and worthless and hurting for as long as you try to stay connected to this man who has proven his untrustworthiness! i have been married for four years now, my husband cheated on me once.. things change now we worked it out.. but i notice hes always interested in online porn than me..he loves me n i love him very much i told him what is doing hurts me but he wont stop its like hes addicted to it please help!!! So unless youre prepared to accept all that and convince yourself that youre okay with it then why bother? By the way shes married with two kids and apparently was having a real sexual affair with one of my husbands friends . The truth is I never had a reason to distrust either of them until then. I even called this woman and politely asked if there was anything going on between my husband and her. But the video chat picture was saved in his laptop and IPAD2. Romance her like you would in the beginning, most men act like once they have the woman the work or effort is over. The hardest part for me right now is letting it go. Heres an article that may help you see your marriage and your husband more clearly: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-do-you-know-if-he-really-loves-you/, Its called How to Know if He Really Loves You.. Please help. Honestly, I dont know where to start. I hope everything works out, Girl! I do love him but do not want to go further with someone who cant make me feel safe. Here for the kids. He uses the extra chores as his excuse for always being tired. Why does a girl writes to you that she is missing you by sending a picture of her drinking and partying. I wasnt even thinking straight due to so much loss! I also think hes still eyeing other candidates and other woman but hasnt stepped over the line. i really dont know what to do or what to belive, i wish somebody could give me some advices.. There is a lot more but I want to get to my question. He said during the week he lied to me about the picture, he was trying to figure out how to tell me. What can I do to discover if hes really cheating on me? They would adjust their schedules to be the same and always different from mine. Ive had more issues with him with other women also. Im just so very emotional and stressed, and pissed. I have been getting anonimous emails about my husband seeing another woman since last year. Please and Ty Melissa. she strips and is not afraid to pleasure any man married or not in any way. This last chance, Im not sure whether it is work or not. He called her a lier and I beleived him. my boyfriend gave a girl the eating out gesture and didnt know I saw so when he looked at me he pretended to be funny and stuck his tounge out at me.. what do I do? It sounds like your marriage has been filled with emotional upheavals, suspicions, disruptions, and lack of communication. I have since uncovered lots of other information which proves him and her are guilty as charged! . Well one evening he came home after their father died and asked me if I was going to the wake. Make loving jesters like leaving love notes and sweet text messages! PLEASE!!! However I still think they slept together but just get the real truth out of him. Then a girls page. Your unborn child deserves to be raised in a normal environment!!! Even when I finally spilled my feelings completely about how I felt when I found out he cheated. My husband & I have been married a year & dated 5yrs, within the past couple of yrs we went through our ups & downs! The first time i found out I took him back but told him if he didnt treat me right I would leave. It seems he just cares about her and not about the mess he created in our family. I think there is something sinister going on here. With that being said, I took what he said and sort of believed him. To avoid a confrontation. one day i just went to his house without informing iam coming, wow i foound him with a woman in his bedroom, i aked him and he told me what i see is what i see. He started to change, being very mean, being out late, changing his phones password, blocking me. If he has performance anxiety in the bedroom, he may be more likely to be unfaithful in marriage. Not from him or the therapist. He is very handsome, and I always tell him how attractive he is. M sorry but, I dont spy on anybody so I dont think so! I have a friend who I am interested in. All the usual stuff. Please leave him honey!!! The good news is that youre not alone look how many women are struggling with the same issues! please give me some advice. When confronted about having an affair he gets very defensive. He also has a girl on Twitter that he talked to over 38 times in one day. But I cant tell him that I have been sniffing on his things. Dont waste your time in a bad relationship. Your email address will not be published. They were constantly in touch throughout the 7 years I have been married. I dunno what to think my gut tells me he has been unfaithful to me and i dunno what to do or whether to believe my gut or not 1 I dont understand? Of course your boyfriend wants you and her! My dysfunction upbringing was nothing compared to my hubbys step father. She called me and we chatted on the phone about it, me crying my eyes out and her telling me itd be okay and he wasnt worth the tears. I also pray for strength and energy to find ways to change your life and become happy again. Well, to cut the long story short, i believed him and we moved on. He lies to me about everything he has a past of heroin use I fear hes using again. Ive read emails and text messages my husband composed to someone. Men love to look at younger, better bodied women. 2 years ago he was checking my cell messages in the middle of the night during his affair with her. We had been dating for six months when my husband had to return home for family reasons. We have been together since 16 and 17, at 23 and 24 got married and never broke up, perfect relationship, we are now 12 years married and never slept with anybody else but each other or I thought he just told me he cheated on me when I had a miscarriage 10 years ago about the same time we were trying to have my daughter, he was just in a sex relationship so he says and other affairs without sex. Anyway, I keep a diary of his narcisstic behavior, lies, everything. Then he send friend request and they become friends. One night he was on call at the local tow company he worked for and a text message came in that he slept through. Thinking & working my mind to mush. Its interesting that you called yourself naive, though. Anytime we go anywhere, she follows or shows up. Like all women, we fell hook, line and sinkerThey got us, but still wants to live the single life. Sweet Pea, It gives me some comfort knowing I not alone. But for my own self I dont want to do it as I dont really want to read all that trashy stuff. I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. what can I do? He has done meth, weed and huffing . 7 Pros and 7 Cons of Tinder, How to Tell If A Man Is Cheating By His Balls (8 Obvious Signs), Is He Cheating On Me? They had communicated a couple of times because shes a drama queen and needed to make a production about telling him she was getting married and when she got pregnant. Well all of a sudden we fight all the time. He is the only one I have ever been with. I learned about the affair Christmas morning. He stays alone, I stay alone and the ex stays with their 2 kids. He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. Couples counselling can help with the trust rebuilding process. He strongly denies sleeping with he and she confirmed via sms to his number which she thought she was responding to him that he was talking crap. I found an itinerary for a king sized suite for two at a hotel in our city. (Back to the fight) He kept telling me there is no reason in the world that can make him understand why I snapped like that. 2. Now a yr later, about the sametime, i have the same gut feeling. So, that whole time I felt so insecure about her for no reason. Your philosophy makes sense. Though i havent seenactual conversations yet i feel this is enough, the intent is there. Sweetie, I hate to say this but your husband is having an affair with your friend. Out of all the nights to check and all of the times he deleted texts before coming home, this one night, he forgot. at home hes become more and more distant. You give me hope Chad. We spent many hours talking and spare life stories. I dont have all the answers, but I do have a few tips! 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They say it is possible to recover from an affair he gets angry, swears a... Know if im getting the whole truth so angry lying to me and he go! His office and conveniently his American Express bills were not in any way back but told him he! You are still attractive and can easily and will be shocked at the shown...